I’m stealing this idea from 1weekMary to help reboot my motivation to post, I loved reading hers and I think it’ll help give you guys an insight in my how thoughts are and let me realise what’s really on my mind that I just need to talk about.
It is currently 7:45 and I am thinking about how I do not have a picture to go with this so even if I finish in 10mins I won’t be able to post it straight. Oh, maybe there should be an edit in 10mins kind of post ooh that’s interesting.
Well right now I’m listening to Taylor Swift ‘Look What You Made Me Do’ and I actually don’t like it but it was on autoplay and I don’t want to waste time, I’m not extremely busy but I am waiting for my Dad to get back from Hajj and I don’t know what I’m expecting but I do miss him a lot so that’s nice.
I stopped blogging and I can’t even give a good enough explanation as to why because I blog really for myself (even though it’s about sharing it with others) I use it as an outlet to share my thoughts and opinions, giving them a place of worth and say. So, me saying I had so much going on negatively mentally, physically and just being at a bad time is just a worthless excuse because I like blogging and I could have used it as a moment to be creative but I just bottled up my negativities (synonym cause I wanna say sadness without sounding sad) but I’ve just been putting things off. I am really happy on the surface, I’m going to an amazing university and I have my whole life ahead of me but I cannot shake off this feeling of anxiety and worry of what I’m doing with my life.
I had it all planned out, I’m so basic but I study Psychology and wanted to become a clinical therapist, work, get married and you know the usual go on amazing adventures and all that. A good idea but now I’m just worried because it fell apart, I no longer want that and even though I still have time to figure out where I’m going I’m just so worried and it’s eating at me and no it’s still not fixed but I just have to move on.
I have to watch motivational videos to remind me to continue on living until I can do it as a habit, I’m not stable yet but I know at one point everything will make sense so I just gotta work through this.
10mins UPP Woah about 400words in 10mins is awesome oh my days, uni fight me I got this well we’ll see. Wow, I realised I have so much I wanna say but I’m quite a private person so this is a big step for me. I feel better though so thank you 1weekMary for this post idea and well right now I’m just taking it one step at a time so next thing is deciding on a picture for this post! Let me know if you like personal posts x