100 days of productivity FAIL

The challenge is to post every day for one hundred days, sharing how you were being productive that day with the hashtag #100daysofproductivity and I failed. Twice.

I had originally started this in October when I started university for the first time, that was a complete disaster. I had no idea how busy uni was going to be and for that I did not feel bad, not one bit. I posted in bulk still taking pictures and writing comments on the day. Just posting them at the end of the week and all that went well for about three weeks (so 21 days of 100) and then stopped. This didn’t destroy me though, slip backs happen so I could have either skipped and continued or started all over again. I stupidly chose the latter.

Being productive is creating a significant result, I had thought doing the 100 days challenge would help me be consistent but it was just a constant stress. I was wasting time trying to have different pictures and ideas or stressing over explaining myself in the captions. Some days, I would spend focused on one thing (for multiple days) that was hard to shoot. I did notice my “free time” when travelling and started doing activities then such as reading or listening to podcasts but then the moment was ruined when I had spent it trying to take pictures of me reading on a bus full of people. So, I’d like to mention even if this was a fail I did become more aware of my time.

Let me explain, I had started this challenge with the obvious aim, to complete it. I wanted to be more productive and sharing it with others would make me feel as though I had to post, I made an account I needed to keep it up. That pressure was built. There was the need of making extra content as well as being busy as well as posting on my main account and it just all became too much. So, starting all over again made me feel like if I failed again I would be the worst person ever so it just became too much stress. I think this is the biggest reason as to why I gave up. The pressure of keeping up with another account, new aesthetics and people to please was all too much. That sounds really dumb and all so floppy but I decided to let it go because overall being productive had lost its meaning. To be productive I just needed to do the work and that was not possible if I was being busy trying to do this challenge.

To mention, the good parts of this challenge; what I learned. To reiterate I became more aware of time and how I was using it. It’s not enough to just be doing something to keep busy, it’s about doing what is necessary.

Another point, posting online was terrible for me because I’m a private person, sharing my personal objectives and criticisms became difficult as I was always aware of OTHER PEOPLE READING IT so I wanted it to always have a meaningful message. Sometimes, I worked hard to my standard from cleaning my room and sometimes I could check everything off the list and feel dead inside. But I couldn’t say that because I didn’t need other people commenting “Oh Shazeda, that’s okay I think you did fabulous” or “haha that’s nothing compared to my day” frankly I didn’t care for other’s opinion but that contradicted with sharing it online. SO, I am journalling/keeping a diary of my day. I don’t plan on sharing it at all, it will be my personal progress tracker. So far it’s just been for binge writing when my head is a mess but I am getting at better at writing in the evening and answering personal reflection questions.

The book won’t be for 100 days consistently (hopefully more) it’ll be for when I want to write down my day as a reflection not a judge.

For anyone who really wants to go through the challenge, do it! This isn’t meant to put anyone off I just wanted to let you know that it’s more than a hashtag and you can be aware of the troubles before you make up your mind.

Thank you for reading, I don’t know if I’m just a loser who couldn’t finish it but I wanted to share my experience. Have you been through anything similar? Trying something productive and just finding it turn on you? There is always something to learn from an experience so I hooe it was worthwhile in the end!

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