have you ever gone to an event alone?

And I mean as in by yourself: no family or friends and without knowing anyone there beforehand? Because girl, when I did that oh I was just so scared. This was my first and probably last time experiencing that for sure. The event was ages ago now so I’m okay typing about it but I’ve never really talked about it. I guess it’s because that was the first time it ever happened so I didn’t know what to expect. And y’all I freaked. The event was Glamour Beauty Festival, it wasn’t a whim, I payed to go and I was excited from the get go. Contrary to the cup, I did not got this.

So, naturally I was late. I had to go uni and upload some work but off I went. It wasn’t too hard finding the place, I am a Londoner, I know my way around. But I felt so out of place already. It’s crazy because I go to central London anyways so this should not feel as bad as it did. My anxiety was literally creeping up on me, I feel as though everybody was watching me and I know that’s not true but I guess that’s one what anxiety is. I felt so out of place. When I got there, no lines or anything I just got my ticket and the receptionist helped me through the event. She told me how everything worked. Basically, it was a pamper day and every section was just for that. For instance, there was skin, hair and makeup.

It was actually really great for the most part. I got a facial from Pixi by Petra and asked so many questions (find out how I got on with pixi beauty in this post) and bought a facial oil which was fun. Then I got a cup of tea, some snacks and it was just a lot of fun for the day. Oral B had a raffle and I won an electric mouthwash brush which is nice and so random but I do love it (review soon). There was a pic’n’mix of beauty products and I got a bunch of samples. The perfume section gave me a hand massage and a ton of perfume samples which make me fall in love with the scent even more every day I use them.

But with every step and every moment I could feel the alone-ness creeping up on me. I have been to places before but since they’re quite quick it wasn’t an issue. This event was taking it’s time and that was taking it’s toll. I often went to the bathroom because I felt so lost and left out. It was like everyone had a friend or knew what they were doing except me. I was the weird kid with no one and then a massive goody bag. The event was truly wonderful but I felt like I did not belong and I don’t know, I think to some places I just need to take someone with me or be more extroverted and make a friend there or just learn to deal with this bad feeling. It wasn’t big I know that but it was still there, I still felt something and it made me hate my morning. I loved everything and I’m glad I went. I wish if I did it all over again, next time, at the very least I go more prepared. Hey, maybe next time I’ll vlog it and then I could be talking to a camera at least.

So that’s my sob story, it was okay because I got a ton of goodies and my skin was glowing and I felt fresh. I went to eat out with a friend after and that was so fun. Yet, that feeling of nerves inside of me just would not leave and that’s made me fearful of going to new places alone. Idk, if anyone’s got any advice please let me know.

~ with love, Shazeda x

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