i am stuck in the mud

I don’t even know why this is so hard right now?! Like I can write pages in my journal about chocolate or type forever about the meaning of life when someone just asked a simple question (I need to stop going on a tangent) BUT I CANNOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME find the energy to type blog posts.

It is not like I do not have ideas because you better believe that I HAVE LISTS GALORE on ideas of what to write BUT IT IS NOT MOVING FROM THAT. I HAVE THE PICTURES READY AND I have tried the voice to text thing (tried and just moved on) but no it’s like my brain goes blank and this is happening with every kind of post.

“Oh why don’t you just make a post with photographs?” BECAUSE I am not for that content Tessica okay it is not for me. And the same with sharing the list post because I kind of have a weakness for them but I need to add more quality to these posts

I have fashion posts ready, this is how bad my brain is feeling because as much as I love stylish posts I do not consider myself a stylista haha if anything I wear the same outfit in three different locations on four separate occasions (Eminem reference) because I am proud that I can match a top with the right jeggings bc better believe that I only own stretchy bottoms.

I don’t know where I’m going with this. I just want to write about the happy times I had sipping coffee in cute cafes and talk about my Gordon Ramsey moment but no. My brain wants to just go bloop. Fun fact: I find it hard to post on Instagram because I cannot think of captions. It’s all stress.

Before, I had uni and work so I had things to blame. I swear I want to do this and I am hyped. Like I sit for a minimum one hour to type but I just cannot. I blamed it on caffeine withdrawal, second cup down and still no energy. I am just not feeling it and not feeling it makes me feel so down. I don’t know. I listen to loads of motivational videos but I don’t know.

I’m scared I guess. Worst comes to worse I’ll post this but turn off all socials. Send help I am stuck. I’m glad I typed this, fuck I should try again. I just have to keep trying.

A picture of me being fat and eating the largest slice of cake I’ve ever had because it wAs a happy time and girl, boy, you, just I dont care thAt I look chubby because I am chubby and lost but in that moment I was happy to eat cake. Yeah I look awkward but that’s only because I knew I was being photographed… and I’m awkward.

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